Bunnie XO and Jelly Roll are undisputedly country music’s first couple right now. But it has taken a lot for them to reach that pinnacle.

In her autobiography, Stripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic, Bunnie XO recounts harrowing stories of damage done whether thrust upon her or self-inflicted. At times the book is excruciating to read as she laments a truly awful childhood that turns into an equally painful and disturbing adulthood. Though she and Jelly Roll may seem charmed now as they have both found success beyond their wildest dreams, their happiness has been hard fought and, as she reveals, their first several years together were brutal.

But through all the nightmarish tales, Bunnie XO’s spirit and instinct for self-survival shine through. Even during the many times she is suicidal (and sadly, more recently than one would think), something propels her to keep on.

The book, which came out Tuesday (Feb. 17), is a fast-paced, well-written read, but that doesn’t make it an easy one. At times, it’s unrelentingly grim and creates a temptation to scream at Bunnie XO to make better choices before realizing nothing in her life, as a child or young adult, gave her the skills to know how to do that. It’s impossible not to root for her as she careens from one traumatic experience to the next, determined to find a better way.

Bunnie admits it’s a miracle she’s alive between the men who beat her, the multiple overdoses, the ectopic pregnancies, the suicide attempts and even a car wreck that could have left her paralyzed.

With unblinking honesty, Bunnie provides a survivor’s manual of sorts. And while she is hard on the literally dozens of adults surrounding her as a child and the abusive men she drifted to from one to the next, she is equally hard on herself, at one point writing, “I was an awful human. I hurt people, and I had no remorse. I sure as hell couldn’t be told otherwise.”

But, to paraphrase Maya Angelou, when she knew better, she did better. Through a lot of therapy — and she makes it very clear that it took repeated attempts at getting counseling before it made a difference –and finally finding a way to love herself and have a nurturing relationship, she finds happiness.

Ultimately, Stripped Down could provide hope for women who have found themselves in some of the same unsurmountable hardships that they, too, can make it through.

Below are 13 revelations from the book.